My dear friends and the couple behind Chus’ Life will soon be celebrating their wedding anniversary. It seems not long ago when Tiffany called me up to tell me she just started dating and in excitement, we planned for a date so that I could meet Michael in person. I was in my senior year of college and I remember being pretty gung-ho about grilling this guy and determining whether or not he’d be a good fit for my best friend. I was ready to grill him and to nitpick at his answers because I couldn’t have just anyone date my best friend.
I think what surprised me most was that Michael wasn’t the kind of guy I was expecting him to be when he showed up. He was rather quiet and reserved in demeanor; the questions that I had prepared to ask him resulted with simple answers and to be frank, I found his answers to be a bit disappointing due to the lack of detail (or what I judged to be rather general and unspecific).
All I really remember about that night was that I ended up doing most of the talking and while I couldn’t really find anything wrong about Michael by the time it was over, in the back of my mind, I questioned whether he would be able to lead Tiffany spiritually and to take care of her. He didn’t seem to be the “leader type” in my opinion. (Random side note: Ironically, years later, Michael blogged about this topic here.)
I’ve been quite distracted lately, with my thoughts scrambling all over the place and my feelings going from very high high’s to low low’s. I ponder and mull over my life until my head hurts and the ending result is still unknown. I hate to admit that my heart has been battling much discontentment, fear, and anxiety.
Yet the more that I try to think about possible scenarios of how the future will play out, the more restless I become. When I shared all my struggles with my discipler, she gently reminded me that I really needed to surrender my future to God. Instead of thinking in circles and freaking out about the unknown, I should be praying and praying some more. Continue reading
(Photo Credit: Chus’ Life)
In a few hours, I will be flying across the Pacific Ocean to another land, to a completely different culture than what I step out into every morning here in the States. In a way, I will be going home, since I will be reunited with family members that I have missed. It’s odd that while I have spent the majority of my short life so far in California, there is still a part of me that is deeply and strongly attached to my roots in Taiwan. I seriously love that land and its people.
This will probably be my shortest trip ever at just a two-week-long stay, but in that time, I am excited to see family and friends that I have not seen in years, and to eat foods that make Taiwan famous. My schedule will be pretty packed because every moment is precious. After all, I have no idea when I plan to return again. It could be in a year, or another three to five. Every minute does count. Every conversation is important. Continue reading
When I am not lazy, I am a planner by heart. I like to plan out my days in my head, from what I will be doing at 8:00 AM tomorrow, to big goals that I aim to accomplish by the end of the year. I enjoy mapping out my schedule, and sometimes when I am bored, I will jot down what I envision my day to be in one-hour increments. Or, I will create checklists of things to do because I not only love planning, but I like executing. Being idle and not having something to do, not having set plans, makes me feel uneasy and restless. Even when plans oftentimes go awry, I am usually okay as long as I have anticipated beforehand that things might not work out, or at least have thought of a couple backup scenarios that might be just as satisfactory as my original schemes.
Does this make me sound crazy?
Anyway, my point is, I like when things go accordingly to my ways. When plans fall through, especially if it was something that I really wanted to do, I know it is God’s way of sanctifying me. When the unexpected happens and I don’t foresee the changes, I have no doubt that God is teaching me to stop desiring control and to submit to His Lordship.
In fact, I am learning this lesson as I type because my plans got messed up today.