Tag Archives: Banana

Weekly Favorite Links (April 30-May 6, 2015)

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In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a little bit quiet around here besides these weekly favorite links posts. Something that I haven’t yet mentioned on here is that I’ve been in a career transition for almost a month now (omgoodness time fliiiieeess). In other words, I’ve been funemployed. The crazy thing is that my life’s only gotten busier. How is that even possible? I don’t even know. It just turned out that way.

A lot of people in my life have been kindly checking in on me and one of the first questions they ask is to see how funemployment is turning out. To be honest, I never quite know how to answer them because I assume that they’re expecting me to reply with a “it’s been really chill and boring,” or “it’s okay, just job hunting,” or some other answer that they’ve already pre-conceived in their minds. Instead, when I tell them that it’s been pretty productive, I’m assuming that a lot of them only half-believe me and I always feel there’s a need to explain myself. So then I go and try to accurately paint a picture of what my schedule looked like during the week. (Don’t even get me started on weekends.)

It’s interesting that I feel the need to justify myself in other people’s eyes, or that I even care about what they think of me. It’s humbling to admit that I want to sound really productive, not just because it’s true, but because I want to gain recognition in their eyes. I know all of them genuinely mean well, but I also struggle with pride and don’t want them to think anything less of me because I’m not working right now at a 9-5 — thoughts that I’m lazy, unproductive, just wasting time, etc. In reality, perhaps none of them think any differently of me during this life stage, and it’s just all in my head, but I’m scared that they will.

There’s a strong temptation for me to get trapped with thoughts that are based off of my own interpretations and assumptions. It’s a silly, dangerous game that I play every day. In my heart of hearts, I want to be liked and affirmed by others. I seek their approval and worry whether I’ll fall short of their expectations for me. Believe me, I know it sounds really silly, but this battle is real. I have to remind myself that my worth is not found in my job title, or the numbers in my bank account, nor is it found in my ministries or relationships. It is also not found in being busy and productive. Instead of worrying about how others perceive me, I need to focus on how God views me and how I can use my time here on this earth more wisely to glorify him. My circumstances should not and will not define my character. The truth is, my worth is not found in my accomplishments or appearances, but on Christ’s accomplishments for me on that rugged cross so that I could have the freedom to worship God. Therefore, the only one I ever need to please, the only one that I should fear more, is him.

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Weekly Favorite Links (March 12-18, 2015)

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Guys, I think I’m having a semi-midlife crisis. But I don’t think I’m even old enough to be in a midlife crisis. Except my body may be thinking that I’m older than my actual age ’cause my hair’s been turning a bit more grayish-black lately. So I’ve been told. Or maybe it’s just the sunlight or angle of lighting. It might not even be anything and now I’m just rambling nonsense.

So perhaps it’s not really a so-called midlife crisis then. Just an omgoodness-what-am-I-going-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life moment. I spent several days re-thinking my short-term life goals and came up a bit short (pun sort of intended). I realized that I’m not sure what I absolutely want to accomplish over the next couple of years and it kind of stressed me out. It’s not anything new under the sun, and I suppose everyone goes through this once in a while. However, knowing that this was something that I needed to pray and work through didn’t make it all the less daunting and nerve-wracking.

As of now, I think I’ve come to terms with not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life. I kind of already touched upon this last week, but sometimes I just want immediate answers from God without enjoying the process that He puts me through. There is much wisdom in waiting upon the Lord instead of scrambling to find answers. I’m by no means suggesting that planning ahead is a bad thing, or that setting aside time to figure out options and career choices is unwise — on the contrary, I’m thankful that this identity crisis forced me to ask myself those questions. Still, I must remember to embrace God’s sovereignty and learn that it is perfectly fine to not have my life wonderfully mapped out. Because c’mon now, I don’t even know what will happen to me tomorrow, much less the rest of my life.

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